"I Won't Live Alone"
This article appeared in the April 1960 issue of TV and Movie Screen Magazine and was written by Jack Holland

Sandra Dee had one "glorious" time not so long ago, in New York living on her own. She had to send out her own laundry, handle all of her appointments, make decisions, take care of phone calls, and be her own boss. Frankly, she loathed the whole set-up so much she left for home two days earlier than she had planned! She insists she couldn't even pack her clothes right so she had to wear, in the middle of summer, her heavy coat. As she smilingly puts it, "I've had it--this living on my own is strictly not for me." Sandra realizes that most young girls think it's a thrilling idea to leave the family fireside and go marching off to that wonderland called Independence.
The petite and bubbly star of U-I's Portrait in Black prefers her life as it is--staying with her mother. "It's not at all glamorous living alone, or at least it wasn't for me," she said firmly. "I don't think young girls are aware of all the problems involved, the tremendous responsibilities, and the risks. One of the biggest risks is having to face what people may say about you for leaving home- the misconceptions they can acquire. I don't, however, consider the problem of dates, of boys, any risk for a girl on her own because she won't have any trouble unless she creates it for herself." There is little reason for Sandra to want to leave home since she has almost complete independence. She is not made to abide by any definite rules, she doesn't have to be home at a certain time, and she makes most of her own decisions.
"I really come and go pretty much as I please," she explained, "because mother trusts me. And because I don't take advantage of that trust. When a boy and I go out on a date I call mother when we get to our destination, and if I'm going to be late getting home I also phone. It's not that mother insists on this---she doesn't. It's entirely my own idea. I just think it's a good idea for a girl to put herself in her parents' position and understand how they might worry.
"I'm quite independent except for a couple of things--I can't always buy the kind of clothes I want and I can't take off on trips that I impulsively think I'd enjoy. Oh, I get most of the dresses I like because I don't go overboard the way I used to. I once was all for sophistication--the low cut dresses, the tight fitting things, and the like. Mother put her foot down about that.
"I had a pair of dungarees, for example, I especially liked. After they were washed they shrunk until they were really tight. I still wanted to wear them. One day I came home and I saw mother cutting them up into rags. When I let out a yell, she said, so innocently, 'Oh, I'm sorry, dear, I thought they were your old pair.' I knew perfectly well she knew they weren't. She'd just decided I wasn't going to wear them any more !"
Sandra got that impish look in her eyes, with the accompanying all-wise smile. "I have discovered one trick, though. If I can get mother in a good mood I can usually keep whatever I charge. Once I bought a very sophisticated, low-cut black dress and hid it under the bed for three days. When mother was feeling very gay I brought it out and showed it to her. She let me keep it."
It is true that Sandra and her mother are very close, but there are no apron strings here. Certainly Sandra depends on her mother and as she said, "I need her a lot--just like any girl needs a mother's love and guidance," but at the same time they have some juicy arguments.
"We don't agree on much at all-not even about the weather," Sandra declared. "Mother's pet arguments with me are about how I wear my hair --it's in the bouffant style now, the make-up I use, the boys I date. Our temperaments aren't alike either.
"There is one point on which we have had no discussion--driving. I'm a better driver than she is and she knows it."
For a while, Sandra had a slight problem about dates since her mother doesn't hesitate to give her views about the boys. She definitely has no time for any young man who is rude, inconsiderate, who uses bad language or drives too fast.
"Mother's been right in her judgment about some of the boys I've known," Sandra said with a smile, "but I'd never admit it to her."
There was one boy Sandra liked but her mother didn't. So one night Sandra, with method in her pretty head, asked, "Why don't you come along with us? We're just going to a movie." At first, her mother said no but then decided to join them. From that time on, she has liked this particular boy. "It's a technique I recommend," confessed Sandra.
When Sandra and her mother really disagree with each other, there can be a big explosion--for about five minutes. Only on one occasion did she really stay annoyed with her mother --for a full 30 minutes! Sandra had asked her to be ready to leave for the studio with her at a certain time. When her mother wasn't all set to go exactly on time, Sandra said, "Well, I'm going without you then." "Are you?" came the reply. Sandra began searching for her car keys and couldn't find them. Nor would her mother say where she'd put them. So Sandra proceeded to empty every drawer in the house until she located them-and off she went.
Before she even reached the studio Sandra was sorry she had acted in this way. She was afraid to call home herself so she tearfully asked her friend, the teacher on the lot to call her mother and tell her she was sorry. This the teacher did-and that was the end of that tempest.
Another time, during a mad, Sandra flew out of the house. She went to her car and almost at once regretted her behavior. Pride wouldn't let her go back inside, though. So three hours later, her mother, who had been trying to locate her, found her asleep in the back seat of the car.
There's little doubt that Sandra is growing up these days. She is dating more for one thing. At one time she was very shy and insecure around boys, but not now.
"I go out only when I'm not working and only with someone I like," she admitted, "If a boy I enjoy calls me for a date I'll accept-and I'll even go with one I don't know too well if I want to know him better. "I don't care where I go if the fellow is pleasant. I can usually have fun no matter what I do."
For a while, Sandra had a set of rules about the kind of boy she liked. He had to have certain physical qualities, certain color of hair-that routine. Now none of this matters. There just has to be a rapport between them.
"I think being in pictures and working with so many young men has helped me to grow up about dates and in my ideas about fellows," she remarked. "Of course, there are times when I wonder if I really have grown up so much. I can pull the most awful boners."
One night, a handsome young man called her for a date. She told him that she couldn't make it because Ross Hunter, the Universal producer, was giving her a party at the studio to celebrate her graduation. "Why don't you come along and meet me there?" she suddenly suggested. The boy agreed. They were together most of the evening during which Sandra introduced him to many as "Henry." As the party came to a close, he turned to Sandra with a polite smile and said, "Incidentally, my name is David." Sandra could have fallen right through the floor.
Living at home as she does has been good for Sandra in one way-she has had someone to keep an eye on her money."It's a good thing a certain part of my salary is put away for me by law or I'd have nothing left," she said meekly. "I just have no sense about money-I hardly ever carry any with me. But when I do have some, I spend it-like when I was in New York. I was taken out for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but I still spent so much-mainly on clothes. Now mother and I have this new house which definitely is not expensive and we're buying all new furniture, so we're both doing all right in the extravagance department. Still-it's all for a home.
"We did have a lot of furniture in New York. We'd only used it three weeks when I had to come to Hollywood, so we gave it all away. It went to my grandmother, so that made it all right."
Her latest extravagance is a double strand of perfect pearls. Every time Sandra thinks of the price she paid she just shudders but she beams, "I'm certainly glad I have them anyway.
"The first thing I should do, she said bluntly, "is to close all my charge accounts-but I can just see me doing anything as drastic as that!"
Sandra is more and more on her own at home now. Her mother's major interests are the house and Sandra's career, but she is not going to hold on tight to her daughter. When the day comes for Sandra to make the move, she'll be allowed to make it.
"If I ever do go out on my own," Sandra said, "it will only be because mother and I suddenly don't get along, because there is too much tension between us. Any two people can get too used to each other, you know. The other reason I'd move would be to force myself to take on responsibilities -- or just to see what it would be like to live alone. I'm sure this won't happen for a long time."
Then, with a twinkle in her eyes, a shrug of her petite shoulders, and a mischievous grin, she said, "But I change my mind every day, so who knows what I'll do tomorrow!"
Cover of the magazine this article appeared in

Back to Sandra Dee tribute