Learning to Live Again
A former teen queen shakes free of her
humiliating past to end years of self hate and loneliness
By Sandra Dee
This article appeared in the March 18, 1991 issue of People Magazine
She wasn't sultry or even particularly sexy. Madonna could have her for lunch. But when it came to building femininity and doe-eyed vulnerability-- the kind of pom-pom cuteness a boy would ask to the prom--no actress , past or present , could ever compete with Sandra Dee. During the late 1950's and early '60's Dee was the teen ideal. Hollywood Style--saucy yet virginal, vivacious yet demure, Doris Day writ 20 years younger. A successful model from the time she was 10 years old, she parlayed her nubile poutiness and the sweetest smile on the beach into instant stardom. As the perky headliner of such romantic comedies as Gidget and Tammy Tell Me True,as well as the guilt-ridden good-girl-in-trouble of churning melodramas like Imitation of Life and A Summer Place , Dee was a guaranteed box office draw. In 1960, she eloped at 18 with crooner Bobby Darin, 24, whose own career was soaring thanks to hits such as "Mack the Knife" and " Splish Splash". Her storybook life seemed complete.
The reality was nothing that the America of that time could imagine, or that Hollywood wanted to know. Here, for the first time, Dee candidly discusses the daunting, dark side of her private life, which led her to a decades-long plunge into anorexia , drug-and- alcohol addiction --and her eventual disappearance from the public eye. As a child she was sexually abused by her domineering stepfather; her over-bearing, self-protective mother, Mary; never acknowledged the abuse--and even added to Dee's self loathing by encouraging her daughter to bind her prematurely developed breasts to keep her looking childlike. At age 9, in a desperate attempt to gain a measure of control over her life, Dee became defiantly anorexic, a condition that more than once nearly killed her.
Although her marriage was basically a happy one, she says," It ended with a suddenness I still can't explain." She drank heavily following her 1967 divorce and more heavily still after Darin's death at 37 in 1973. But it wasn't until 1988, when her mother died, that Dee hit rock bottom and was eventually hospitalized.
With the help of a psychotherapist and the love and support of her son, Dodd Darin, 29, Dee is making a personal comeback. Although still physically frail, she has never felt more free--or more courageous. In her light filled , two-bedroom condo in Beverly Hills , she spoke with correspondent Todd Gold about the pain and shame her once-flawless image had hidden. "I don't know how the people are going to feel about me talking about all this," she says," I hope they aren't disappointed. At least they'll know the truth."
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